Around Thanksgiving every year, I like to do a sort of thankfulness post. Now we are 4 days post-Thanksgiving, and I’m just now finding the time to sit and write. This post, I’m going to do a little more “list” style of a few main things that I am thankful for. Enjoy!
- My mom – I have never in my life been more thankful for a person that I am towards my mom. In the past two years, we seemed to have constant struggles in our family life (as I mentioned in my “There’s a Club” post). I watched in awe as she handled all of this and more and gained a whole new level of love and respect for her. Losing my dad was hard, but I have learned how to rely on my mom the way I did my dad. She helps me with so much in life, and is such a kind, sweet, warm, and truly genuine person. I am amazed by her daily.
- My sisters – Life with my sisters has not always been the easiest. When my depression started and grew, the angrier I got and the more I lashed out. We had a lot of hard times, and there was a lot of bad blood for a while. Now, I feel like I can talk to my sisters as not only sisters, but I can talk to them as friends as well. They are both such great people, and I love seeing how things are turning out for them in life.
- My neighbors/best friends – one year ago (tomorrow), I posted about my high school reunion. During the time of planning, Zach (one neighbor) was the main one who had put together the Facebook group for our reunion. He was one I’d known since elementary school. The night of the reunion, I saw him and his wife, Jess (who also went through the same school, but just a different year), and we found out that the apartment I’d just moved to was legitimately right around the corner from them. On Christmas, they hosted an “all-are-welcome” type party at their house. It was not in my normal self to attend, but I decided if I wanted to try to make a connection, this was a first step. I stopped over in between events at my parent’s house. Since then, I’ve become a regular at their house, and spend almost all of my free time with them. It’s amazing to be able to make plans or hang out at the drop of a hat, and still be able to be home in 2 minutes when I’m ready to sleep! Zach and Jess are the most kind, loving, caring, selfless, giving, genuine people I have ever met. I cannot imagine my life without them.
- My job – The full time job I am at now saved me from an incredibly toxic, terrible work situation that I was in. I was working for a toxic, manipulative boss, we’d had so many others already quit or transfer, and I was feeling like I was going to drown. I couldn’t handle it there any more. Then, this job popped up. I posted for it immediately, and this allowed me to leave full time at the other job, and finally transfer out of the toxic relationship that the manager had caused in the store. Since then, I’ve been so grateful to my job for so many things. It allows me to see my mother on a daily basis, when my family was going through hard times, there was no end of offers of support, and when I need a friend during the day, I know where to find one.
- My other “job” – I’ve recently started helping out at Jess and Zach’s business at the local public market! I was looking to fully leave the former full time job that became part time, because I knew I no longer fit there. It was not a bad environment per se, I had a nice boss, but I just knew that my time there was done. It’s like when you realize you don’t love your bf/gf anymore, but you just have to officially cut ties. So I started helping out at the market and realized that it was more enjoyable, plus, who doesn’t want to hang out with their best friend and sell things?!
- My apartment – a year ago (October) I moved in to a new apartment. Before that I’d spent two years living with my god-awful ex (I’ve mentioned him in a post before, but I cannot remember which). Terrible life choice. But, when I found the apartment I currently live in, everything started changing. I developed a new-found sense of independence. I found happiness. I now sit in my living room to watch TV instead of always hiding in my bedroom. It is the absolute perfect size for me, my landlords are kind people, and I don’t have crazy/obnoxious neighbors! Plus, my best friends are now right around the corner, so what could be better?! The drive to work is 20 minutes instead of 2-5, but the benefits definitely outweigh the negatives.
- My mental health – as I’m sure anyone who reads this blog knows, my mental health has been a long, long struggle. Coping with a mental illness is not the easiest and it takes time and dedication to be able to manage it. I now look at my life and find pure comfort in the fact that I have successfully learned how to manage my mental health without medication and without therapy. I apologize if that in any way sounds like I am bragging. I don’t mean it to. I am just so proud of myself and where my mental health is at. I do still get bouts of anxiety and depression, but I’ve learned to read my body and read the symptoms, as well as figure out underlying causes.
- This blog – I’ve been using this blog for a while, and even though sometimes I feel like I’m tapped out for creative new content, and don’t want to rehash everything 10 times (because really I can find different angles to talk about the same story), I am so grateful to have this opportunity and platform to write about my life, my mental health journey, and my past. I am also so thankful for the people that I have met through this blog. Not to mention any and all of my “followers” (I put it in quotes because I don’t love the term, but don’t know what else to call it).
There is so much more I have to be thankful for, but these are the top items that come to mind. I hope all had a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Mine, although an air of sadness was in my head, was good. I was with my family (my mom, sisters, brother (and his gf), brother-in-law, niece). First major holiday down, now to tackle Christmas time…